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Scribbled On: 2005-08-21 at: 11:34 a.m.
looks like this is it. i did it again. in about 2 days i will no longer be a married woman. i will be getting a devorce. i know i spelled that wrong and i dont care. it all stared yesterday when i get woken up to being yelled at for no reason. it continued all day. even at the bbq for his brother. everytime i thought that i might be able to save the marrage and make it work he would do it again and brake me into tears. he called me psyco bitch for like an hour as if it were my name. so i told him that i didnt want that anymore and that i wanted a devorce. he as always did the lets talk about it. i told him i was ready to talk lastnight. insted of talking it turned into more yelling. i was ready to makeit work. i dont think that he was though. he just made it worse. so after i went to bed i find out that he started looking at porn right next to me. i mean if you really wanted to save a marrage would you do that. he says he still wants me but he turns to porn. i had forgoten all aout devorce. now he sasy that i dont care that he hurts that its all about me. i do know that he hurts.jbut i only did one thing. devorece. and i know its a big thing. but not nearly as big as the last two days of hell i have been through. i have spent the last two days in tears becasue of him. and he sits there what about my hurt. what about me=y stess. when i put him in constant tears for two days strait then he can talk about it. untell then he has no idea what its like. all i wanted was to have a happy family. what i got is pain and misory. i wont be like tommy he says. i wont be like the other guys he says. he being worse. i love him. i really do. but i cant do it any more. i cant stand this. i just want my real hubby back. the one i met. the one i fell in love with. right now i feel like im in hell with the devil. before everything was perfect. he was everything i wanted and more. great to danny, great to me, then i found out i was pregnet.it went down hill from there. i dont know what im going to do. i really dont want a devorce,but it seems like he does. he yells at me all the time. i better go its starting all over again
